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3 Simple Practices That Will Rebuild Your Self-Esteem From Ground Up

3 Simple Practices That Will Rebuild Your Self-Esteem From Ground Up

Because you deserve to walk into a room and own it.

Sol TV
February 27, 2025

🦋 Understanding Self-Esteem Through Values

🌱 TL/DR: The Truth About Self-Esteem

☀️ Sol Bites: 3 Ways to Build Self-Esteem Today

💡 Are You Aiming Your Confidence in the Wrong Direction?

🎬 Video Bite: Lesley Wirth on Self-Trust

✨ Words of Wisdom

Welcome to Wisdom & Sol and to the 774 people who have joined us since last week! If you haven’t subscribed, join our community of 42,719 intelligent, curious folks who want to boost their emotional well-being by subscribing here.

Most of us have struggled with self-esteem at some point in our lives. Whether we doubt ourselves during a job interview, hesitate to share our creative work, or find it hard to set boundaries with friends and family, low self-esteem can significantly impact our lives.

There’s a reason so many people struggle with self-esteem, and it may surprise you: they’re defining it incorrectly and don’t actually understand how it works. The simplest definition of self-esteem is acting according to your values—especially when it’s hard.

Knowing your values (what really matters most to you) is the precursor to high self-esteem.

TL/DR: The Truth About Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is a belief, not a feeling. Your beliefs are built on habits—or actions that you do consistently. Here are three practices to improve your self-esteem.

Know Your Values Think of self-esteem as your reputation with yourself. The more your actions align with your personal values, the higher your self-regard.
Present Actions Matter More Your current behaviors impact your self-esteem way more than your past experiences. So acting in alignment with your values is the key to strong self-esteem.
Assertive Communication Is Key Learning to communicate assertively is the fastest way to boost your self-esteem.

Sol Bites: 3 Ways to Build Self-Esteem Today

Know Your Values

Think of your values as your personal compass and what drives the trade-offs you make. For example:

If you value creativity, a regular writing practice will boost your self-esteem more than forcing yourself to network at business events.

If you value family time, saying no to weekend work to spend time with your kids will feel better, more than taking on extra projects for promotion.

If you value authenticity, being honest about not enjoying superhero movies (even when everyone else loves them) will strengthen your self-esteem even over pretending to fit in.

Shake Hands with Your Past

While past experiences shape us, your current behaviors impact your self-esteem the most. Consider these examples:

Instead of telling yourself: "My perfectionist parents made me afraid of failure," ask yourself, "How can I practice sharing my work-in-progress project with trusted colleagues today?"

Instead of telling yourself, "Being bullied as a kid made me quiet and withdrawn," ask yourself, "What small step can I take to express my opinions more openly in meetings?"

While childhood bullying or critical parents may have been the initial trigger for your self-esteem issues, the actual cause of your low self-esteem is your behavior or habits right now.

Practice Assertive Communication

If you really want to improve your self-esteem quickly, the quickest path is to speak assertively. When you do that, it forces you to articulate your values in all your choices.

- Start with small, low-stakes situations:

- When your friend suggests watching a movie you don't enjoy, say, "I'd prefer something different," instead of reluctantly agreeing.

- If a colleague repeatedly interrupts you in meetings, state, "I'd like to finish my thought," rather than staying silent.

When your partner makes weekend plans without checking, tell them, "I appreciate the initiative, but I'd like us to discuss plans together," rather than harboring resentment.

Building healthy self-esteem isn't about dramatic transformations or constantly focusing on yourself. Instead, it's about making small, consistent choices that align with your values and gradually learning to communicate more assertively. Remember, every time you honor your values through your actions—even in tiny ways—you build a more substantial reputation with yourself. Start with one small step today, and watch your self-esteem grow naturally over time.