The Confidence Confusion 

This may sound crazy, but when you don't feel confident, it really means that you've convinced yourself that you lack confidence. Understanding that powerful idea can change how you think about self-esteem. You may just be using the confidence you already have in the wrong way: to believe in your doubts and fears!

Beyond Appearance: What Self-Esteem Truly Is

It’s a myth that self-esteem means, “I think I'm beautiful. I think I'm smart.” Self-esteem is more about worthiness, confidence, and alignment.

Rather than being about holding yourself in high regard, self-esteem is simply admiring yourself for your actions. Moreover, it comes down to alignment with your values. If you’re engaged in something that aligns with your values, then emotions like happiness and being in the present moment come naturally.

The Flashlight of Self-Esteem: Are You Pointing it the Right Way?

Imagine self-esteem is like a flashlight. When your self-esteem is low, you feel you're in the dark. You feel unsure, unworthy, and unable to see your good qualities. But what if you did have a flashlight? What if it's just pointed at the ground, or even worse, inwards at yourself, highlighting all your perceived flaws? You're confident you're not good enough, optimistic that things will go wrong. It's still confidence, just aimed in the wrong direction.

Stop Holding Yourself Underwater

Here’s another analogy: Imagine your self-esteem is a cork. When you feel unworthy, it’s like you’re holding that cork underwater, and weighing it down with constant self-criticism. You don't need to learn some complicated trick to get it to float.—it will float naturally once you stop forcing it down. One way to do that is to gradually shift your focus away from everything you think is wrong with you. That will ease the pressure, and your sense of self-worth will rise to the surface—just like the cork. 

The Power of Tiny Promises

One powerful way to build self-esteem is through small, consistent actions that build self-trust. You can start by making small promises to yourself—such as drinking a glass of water or making your bed—and keeping them. It sounds straightforward, but the impact is significant. You build a track record with yourself by consistently following through on these small commitments. You learn that you are reliable and honor your promises. Self-trust is a fundamental building block of self-esteem. These little activities can soon translate into bigger goals for yourself. But it’s key to remember that building self-esteem doesn't require grand gestures. It happens through small daily actions that align with who you want to be. Each time you follow through, you're laying another brick in the foundation of your self-trust and self-esteem.

Stop Blaming the Outside World for Your Self-Esteem

It's important to remember that while external factors can influence how we feel about ourselves, ultimately, self-esteem is an "inside job." One commenter on Reddit put it bluntly: “Self-esteem has nothing to do with [religious and cultural upbringing]. It has to do with your self and thought!” While this might sound harsh, there's a powerful truth in it. It's easy to point to external circumstances—upbringing, culture, past experiences—as the cause of low self-esteem. Although they can play a role, only focusing on them can be disempowering. It can make you feel like a victim of your past circumstances, with no control over your self-worth.

You Are the Master of Your Self-Worth: Take Control

Want to feel empowered? Remind yourself that you control your thoughts, actions, and feelings about yourself. Blaming external factors keeps you stuck and implies that your self-esteem depends on changing those external elements. True self-esteem, however, comes from within. Of course, difficult experiences or environments can impact it, but your past does not define you, nor does your environment control you. You can choose how you react to them and decide to focus on building self-trust, redirecting your confidence, and taking actions that reinforce your self-worth. 

Finally, building self-esteem isn't about overnight transformations or pretending to be someone you're not. It's about understanding that you already possess the confidence and worthiness you seek, but perhaps it's been misdirected. Your goal is to consciously choose to redirect it toward yourself in a positive way.

Along the Same Lines…

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Mona & The Sol TV Team ❤️

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