Avoid One Thing

Anxiety can be tricky because the things that make us feel better immediately can make anxiety worse in the long run. Here’s a great example of what I mean: When you’re anxious, it’s natural to want someone to tell you everything will be okay. But life is unpredictable, and constantly seeking reassurance and leaning on other people to provide comfort can train your brain to think uncertainty is a bad thing–and you can't handle it without help from others.

TL/DR: Outsourcing Anxiety

Instead of seeing uncertainty as a threat, try accepting it—even if it feels uncomfortable. So, for instance, if you’re worrying about whether you’ve studied hard enough for an upcoming exam, instead of texting a friend about it, take a moment to remind yourself that it’s okay not to know if you’ve truly done what you need. Or, if you're nervous about an upcoming presentation, trust in your preparation rather than seeking endless feedback.

Constantly seeking reassurance results in a dangerous double whammy: It not only spikes your anxiety long-term, teaching your brain that anxiety is terrible and should be avoided at all costs, but it also crushes your self-confidence since you prove to your brain that you can’t tackle challenges solo. 

Anxious? How to Break the Spiral with Choice, Beliefs, and Breathing

Learn how to manage anxiety and get back into the driver's seat when it comes to tackling challenging emotions.

Sol Bites: Circle of Trust Checklist

You can eliminate the need for reassurance by establishing "circles of trust." This involves understanding your relationships in terms of emotional investment and dependency levels. 

By nurturing these circles, you can construct a support system that upholds your sense of self from external validation. This framework ensures that you navigate life's challenges with greater resilience and minimizes the need for constant reassurance from others. You become your own anchor, capable of weathering shifts in interpersonal relationships and external circumstances with confidence and grace.

Innermost Circle: You

Your first task is to make sure your house, so to speak, is in order. Are you caring for your physical and mental health, managing your finances, and maintaining a supportive environment that nurtures growth and well-being? Ensuring your foundation is stable creates a solid base for resilience. More specifically:

• Are you strengthening your resiliency muscles by practicing mindfulness, invoking positive affirmations, and physical exercise?

• Do you embrace self-reflection with practices like journaling or meditation? Do you speak kindly to yourself and forgive your mistakes? Do you celebrate even the small wins and proactively address past trauma?

• Are your personal and professional goals aligned with your core values? Are you asserting your boundaries and cultivating independence by developing new skills and hobbies?

Second Circle: Intimate Others

Next, identify the small group of people who consistently support you and prioritize nurturing those relationships. Mutual investment will enhance your emotional well-being. Ask yourself these questions to see if you have this circle intact: 

• Are you building emotional closeness through shared experiences and quality time?

• Do you foster open and honest dialogue? Are you clearly expressing your needs, anxieties, and boundaries?

• Do you seek and give reassurance while maintaining a sense of self-worth independent of other people’s approval?

Third Circle: Casual Friends/Acquaintances

Finally, recognize who is a casual friend or acquaintance and consider the varying degrees of intimacy and support each relationship can provide. Stay open to new connections while valuing each person’s role in your social ecosystem. You should be able to check off all of these:

• Do you enjoy shared activities but don't tie your self-worth to these casual relationships? Do you maintain clear boundaries and set realistic expectations

• Do you appreciate these relationships for the joy and perspective they bring rather than for emotional validation? Do you engage in social gatherings and group activities that align with your interests?

• Do you understand that people in this circle may come and go? Do you embrace the ebb and flow of relationships as part of life's journey?

The main takeaway from establishing a “circle of trust” is to work on yourself first. Ensure your house is in order before relying on or “outsourcing” the emotional labor to other people.

Video Bite

Anxiety got you down? Try this tip by Sol TV Creator Sharana Ali: Smelling a flower and blowing out a candle. Deep breath in and blow slowly out. 

Check out Sharana’s simple yet powerful breathing technique.

Words of Wisdom

Along the Same Lines…

We love you,
Mona & The Sol TV Team ❤️

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