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The way we convey information about ourselves—either intentionally or unintentionally—through action, speech, or possessions is called signaling. It has its origins in biology (think peacocks displaying feathers) and economics (displaying wealth to demonstrate value), but it's everywhere in human social life. 

Status signaling is when you present power, prestige, or social status. Examples are owning a luxury car, name-dropping famous friends, or wearing designer clothes. All of those things say "I'm superior to you" or "I'm in the cool crew." Evolutionary psychology studies indicate that this type of behavior is related to mate competition, resource competition, or respect.

Virtue signaling happens when a person publicly expresses moral virtue, such as posting on social media about a charitable donation or shouting for a cause. It's criticized as being insincere, but it can come from a good place. Studies define virtue signaling as a mix of seeking approval and really caring about an issue.

Wealth signaling (buying expensive stuff), competence signaling (bragging about capabilities), and even minor details such as posture or the words you choose are some other types of signaling. They are all ways that people try to influence what others think about them.

Humans signal because we're social animals who care about our reputations. But we can easily fall into a trap where we're fixated more on appearance rather than reality.

TL;DR

Signaling is the act of demonstrating who you are—status (power/prestige) or virtue (goodness)—to impress others. It's natural, but can get you stuck pretending to be someone else. To prevent that, set concrete goals that matter to you rather than seeking out applause.

Sol Bites: How to Get Out of the Signaling Trap

People fall into the signaling trap when they become too focused on seeking approval rather than living by who they are. Picture going bankrupt from splurging for a new Rolex or becoming exhausted trying to be someone you’re not. 

Here's how to escape:

Signaling—status, virtue, wealth, or whatever—matters. It can help you get along in society, but it’s a trap when it governs your life. You don’t have to eliminate it completely from your behavior (it's wired into us, after all), but aim to signal less for other people and more for yourself.

To break free, concentrate on what's important to you, not other people. It's easier, less expensive, and healthier.

5 Things to Remember When You’re Stuck Pleasing Everyone but You

You can stop pleasing everyone, but they’ll survive without your yes.

Video Bite

Sol TV Creator Katy Morin, shares five powerful strategies that will liberate you from a relentless people-pleasing cycle.

Words of Wisdom

Want More: Tools to Escape the Signaling Trap

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