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How to Defeat Distractions and Focus
Tired of your brain being a chaotic group chat? Learn to set boundaries and actually focus.
Sol TV
October 10, 2024
🧠TL/DR: Master Your Mind
🍏 Sol Bites: 3 Steps to Boost Focus
🔍 A Powerful Tool for Mental Focus
🚧 6 Boundary-Setting Tips for Sensitive Souls
đź’¬ Words of Wisdom
A lot of our emotional struggles come from not setting healthy boundaries within our minds.
Most of us just go with the flow: If our mind starts worrying, we end up stuck in worry; if we start craving something, we usually give in to those cravings.
Just like always saying yes to other people can have serious downsides, not being able to set boundaries within ourselves also can be harmful. Whether you’re dealing with chronic worry, panic attacks, or self-sabotage, many issues boil down to poor mental boundaries.
The good news is you can make yours stronger with some self-awareness and practice. Setting—and sticking to—your mental boundaries is a skill, and like any skill, it’s one you can improve over time if you put in the work.
TL/DR: Master Your Mind
What do we mean by getting better at setting better internal boundaries? Think about a time when you managed to stay focused on an important task despite your mind pulling you toward social media, video games, or Netflix instead. You can't always control what your mind throws at you—whether it’s worries or distracting thoughts. But you can control what you choose to focus on. Setting boundaries with your mind means taking charge of your attention.
Sol Bites: 3 Steps to Boost Focus
Remember that setting healthy mental boundaries with yourself is about taking charge of where you direct your attention rather than letting unhelpful thoughts and mental habits hijack it. Here’s a three-step process to boost your attention game.
1. Recognize the Distraction
The first step is recognizing whatever is trying to steal your attention and acknowledging that you feel the pull.
You might say to yourself:
- "I'm worrying about that mistake I made on the report.”
- "Wow, I'm craving lots of sugar right now."
- "I feel like napping instead of heading to the gym."
Remember the adage: “Label it to control it.”
When you acknowledge an unhelpful thought honestly and directly, you remove some of its power, and it becomes easier to redirect your focus to something more productive.
Bonus Tip: Take notes. Jotting down your worries, cravings, or impulses helps you understand them better and makes it easier to detach from them.
2. Validate Your Emotions
Often, we struggle to set good mental boundaries because a painful emotion drives us to make unhelpful choices.
Instead of reacting impulsively to challenging emotions and trying to get rid of them, try validating them. Some things you can tell yourself:
- "I’m feeling anxious right now. I don’t like it, but anxiety can’t hurt me."
- "I feel guilty about not getting this work done sooner. But everyone procrastinates sometimes. Just because I feel guilty doesn’t mean I’m a bad person for feeling this way."
Validating your difficult emotions means compassionately acknowledging that emotions may be painful, but they aren’t destructive, and you aren’t flawed for experiencing them.
3. Clarify Your Values
It’s much easier to refocus your attention on something productive if it has a robust and clear value attached to it.
For example, let’s say you're trying to concentrate on playing a game with your daughter, but you keep dwelling on an argument you had with a coworker. You’d probably find it much easier to stay present with your daughter if you reminded yourself how much you value being attentive and engaged with your kids.
A Powerful Tool for Mental Focus
Values act like motivation, helping you to focus on the right things and avoid being distracted by unhelpful thoughts. That’s the essence of setting mental boundaries.
The trick is that clear, specific values are much more motivating than vague, generic ones. Ground the reasons for your boundaries in things that are real and meaningful to you.
Consider the example above again. Reminding yourself to "stay present" is helpful but not motivating. Imagine saying this to yourself: "Being present with my daughter is one of my core values. I want to notice every little expression on her face and soak up as much of this precious time as possible. When I’m with my daughter, I want her to feel like I’m 100% there. I remember how special it felt to spend time with my mother because she was always present and focused. I want to give my child the same feeling."
It’s the boundaries that help us stay on our values, so learn how to set them right and say goodbye to emotional overload with these 6 simple tips.
Words of Wisdom
Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.
Along the Same Lines…
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We love you,
Mona & The Sol TV Team ❤️
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