Values are a curious business. We talk about them and we hear the term bandied about in political speeches and corporate mission statements, yet how many of us can articulate our own values with genuine conviction? Most people simply drift through life, absorbing values by osmosis—a little from our parents, a little from our friends, a little from whatever influencer happens to be dominating our feed.

Many of us embrace clichéd values—hard work, success, loyalty—that we think we should have without ever digging deep to discover what fuels us. And then we wonder why we feel lost, adrift in a sea of borrowed beliefs, unable to chart a course that feels authentically our own.

When you don't set your values, you can lose yourself in ones that belong to other people. Living without a defined set of personal values can create an existence that might look glamorous on the outside but is incredibly empty on the inside.

Values are the principles that you set for yourself as a code of conduct in your life: How do you make decisions? What are the principles that you have while making those decisions?

Rethink Your Value Narrative

Set aside a few moments at the start of each week for deeper self-reflection about your values. We know that it’s virtually impossible to reject all external influences, but you can discern between what resonates deeply with you and what's simply a borrowed belief. Self-reflection helps peel back the layers of external conditioning to discover the authentic values that drive you. It's about asking yourself: What would I value if no one was watching? What kind of person would I strive to be?

A good way to start this is by picking up a paper and beginning to write your list of no's—the things you will never compromise on, such as "I'll never betray" or "I'll never prioritize money over integrity" or "I'll never stay silent in the face of injustice."

From there, find your positive values. What guiding principles do you want to define your life? If it's honesty, what does honesty actually mean to you? How does it manifest in your actions?

Don't make your values overly complicated—your goal should be creating ones you can quickly internalize and understand.

Hold a Values Meeting 

One thing I've found incredibly helpful is having a candid "value check-in" conversation with my close friends and family. It's a chance to realign with what's essential individually and as a group.

Why is this so important? Your friends and family are your inner circle. Their values likely influence you, and vice versa. Openly discussing values allows you to identify shared principles that strengthen your bonds and create a sense of purpose. For example, maybe you and your close friends discover you all highly value authenticity. This shared value could lead to more honest and vulnerable conversations. It might mean calling each other out (gently!) when someone seems to be acting out of character or suppressing their true feelings. 

Ask each other: What's important to you right now? What principles are guiding your decisions? Share stories about times you felt aligned with your values and times you drifted. But also, consider how your values intersect. Are there shared values that are important to your inner circle? How can you support each other in living by those values?

These conversations can be surprisingly powerful. They can clarify your priorities, strengthen relationships, and encourage you to make decisions aligned with your values. You’ll build a support system where everyone is on the same page about what truly matters. Give it a try! You might be surprised at what you discover—not just about yourself, but about the people you care about most.

Along the Same Lines…

We love you,
Mona & The Sol TV Team ❤️

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