The Worst Motivator

Let’s talk about something many people grew up with: self-criticism. Many of us were conditioned to believe that being hard on ourselves is the key to success, right? And if we’re not successful, we somehow lose our value. 

Because of that thinking, we often become the harshest critics from a young age. We call ourselves lazy if we procrastinate, berate ourselves when we’re anxious about a test, and beat ourselves up if we get distracted and aren’t as productive at work as we’d like.

When we do all that and end up with decent test scores, get into a good college, land a solid job, or whatever, we think our success is due to all the self-criticism.

It’s like saying, “I wore my unlucky socks, and then I bombed the game.” We all know that your socks didn’t affect your game. Just because self-criticism has been part of your journey doesn’t mean it’s the secret sauce to your success.

TL/DR: Self-Criticism Doesn’t Work

In the book The Willpower Instinct, Stanford Professor Kelly McGonigal points to several studies that show self-criticism usually leads to less motivation and poorer self-control. And what happens when you ease up on the self-judgment? You become even more productive and disciplined!

It’s at least worth trying to soften your attitude toward yourself—you can always switch back to being harsh, but I bet you won't want to.

Sol Bites: The Sound of Self-Compassion

One technique I use that makes it easier to ignore my inner critic is to make it sound like someone I would never take seriously in the first place. Here's what I do and why it works:

The changes:

1. Give it a silly voice. Imagine your inner critic speaking like a goofy cartoon character, or give it a funny accent.
   

2. Turn down the volume. I move the voice to the back of my head and imagine it’s coming from a distance. You also can act like the voice is whispering to you rather than screaming.  
   

3. Distort the sound. Picture the voice as muffled or coming through static, so you can’t quite hear what it’s saying.
   

4. Give it a silly name. This is another good way to reduce your inner critic’s power further.

Why this works:

• It creates distance. By changing the voice, you mentally separate yourself from what it’s saying, making it easier to let it go.
  

• It lessens the emotional impact. A small, funny voice feels less scary than a big, angry one, so it’s less likely to trigger intense emotions.
  

• It fosters self-compassion: Your goal is to manage your inner critic rather than be managed by it.

The more you do this, the more it will work, so remember to practice it often. Also, pay attention to when your inner critic is going off on you so you can quickly pull out this technique and use it.

4 Powerful Tactics for Embracing Self-Compassion

You can’t completely silence your inner critic, but you can learn ways to reframe it. 

Video Bite

Sol TV Creator Melissa Impett shares how self compassion changed her life. She offers tips on how to make friends with your higher self and shake off the voice that pulls you down.

Words of Wisdom

Along the Same Lines…

We love you,
Mona & The Sol TV Team ❤️

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