Last week, we discussed how to reframe negative thoughts with cognitive restructuring and how it’s one of five habits that can help you be great at regulating your emotions. Today, we’re focusing on the fourth habit: value clarification. Learning to make values-based rather than feelings-based decisions helps you avoid succumbing to negative emotions.

As humans evolved, emotions became an essential element of survival. Your feelings can drive you to behave in a certain way.

Let’s take a look at fear, for example:

• You hear a loud boom on the sidewalk, and fear causes you to move out of the way quickly. Suddenly you see more debris falling from the scaffolding and dodge it.

That fear served its purpose. Although one emotion can be valuable in certain instances, it can be disadvantageous in others.

• You are in a class or meeting and need something clarified, but you are afraid to ask a question for fear of looking unintelligent. Bringing up the issue could have helped you and others, but you held back.

The bottom line is that your emotions will veer you off a path as much as they will guide you. So what’s a better compass?

Emotionally strong people listen to their feelings but do not take orders from them.

Emotionally strong people know it's much better to use their values to guide their decisions and not give in to any moment’s emotional whimsy. Think about it: How often would you work out when you felt down, what new friends would you make if you were scared to meet people, what new places you’d visit if you were nervous about leaving your comfort zone, and on and on, if you only listened to your feelings?

When you dedicate time to understanding and defining your core values, you can make choices that benefit your future rather than impulsively acting on what seems easily manageable.

Let’s explore how to learn to make values-based decisions rather than feelings-based ones.

🔎 TL/DR: Benefits of Value Clarification

Values serve as guiding principles that assist us in making sound choices despite challenging circumstances or intense emotions, such as fear or anger. If you align with your values and ideals, you can overcome your emotions when they get in the way of what you want out of life.

Clarifying personal values leads to many benefits, including:

• Feeling more confident

• Improving your relationships

• Reducing procrastination

• Worrying less

• Finding more joy in life

• Sticking to your goals

🏋️‍♀️ Sol Bites: 3 Exercises to Discover Your Values

Try a few of these exercises if you’re serious about clarifying your values.

The benefits of having a solid grasp of your values—such as a sense of purpose, clarity, and motivation—far outweigh the effort it takes to explore and understand them.

Knowing your values is essential in effectively navigating through life, especially during challenging times. By clearly understanding your values, you’ll be better equipped to make sound decisions when faced with uncertainty, confusion, or overwhelming emotions such as fear or frustration.

🎞️ Video Bite

In this video, hear what Sol TV Founding Creator Yemane Williams, Quantum Theorist, Author & Cognitive Behavioralist has to say about how to align with ego & consciousness.

She begins by noting that in today's world, many people are focused on presenting themselves in a certain way to the world. This can lead to us boxing in our true selves and not living authentically.

Yemane suggests that we can find alignment with our ego and consciousness by doing things that make us happy. When we do things that are truly for ourselves, it becomes easier to let go of the need to please others and to live from a place of authenticity.

💡 Words of wisdom

Along the Same Lines…

We love you,
Mona & The Sol TV Team ❤️