The 1 Thing

You may not realize this, but worrying about something is a way of tricking yourself into thinking you can control it. For instance, if you have an upcoming job interview and worry about everything that could happen, you might tell yourself that it’s just mental preparation.

Let’s consider this in terms of relationships. When you set rigid expectations for others, you trick yourself into believing you can influence them and control the outcome of situations. One example is expecting a friend to always be on time, which makes you think you can control their punctuality.

You might not see expectations as a bad thing. In our over-achieving society, we’re taught to believe that having high expectations for others pushes them to improve and grow. The reality is that it’s all an illusion. Expectations are more about you than the other person. And having ones that are too high can end up making you miserable.

TL/DR: Control Trap

Expectations often come from a place of love. You care about your people and want the best for them. Watching them struggle sucks, big time.

But spinning fantasies about what they should do and then losing your cool when they don't match up with your dream scenario? That’s a recipe for major disappointment.

Picture this: You think your bestie should dump their deadbeat partner and return to school, so you're always giving them advice and hints that push them in that direction. When they don't do what you want, you get frustrated. They sense your vibe and start pushing back, maybe even staying with their partner just to spite your expectations. 

You thought you had some control over their life—and convincing yourself you're helping makes you feel better—but you can’t really control people, even if it's for their own good. Trying to do that sets you up for a never-ending cycle of high hopes followed by epic letdowns.

How Expectations Steal Your Joy (and What to Do About It)

Read this if you're ready to break free from the comparison trap, bridge the expectation gap, and create a life that truly brings you joy.

Sol Bites: 30-Day Release Expectations Challenge

Here’s a way to recalibrate your expectations for others: Drop them all for 30 days. Seriously, let them go and see what happens.

Instead of expecting people to be a certain way, be present for them:

• Show empathy when they mess up instead of trying to push them toward your vision of success. Instead of giving unsolicited advice, simply say,  "Hey, I get it. We all have rough days. Let's grab coffee and talk about what didn't go right."
  

• Ease up on expectations of perfectionism and set real boundaries with consequences for bad behavior. For example, if a friend flakes on you, you can tell them, "I love you, but FYI, if you blow off our plans again, I’m not rescheduling."
  

• Meet people where they’re at, not where you want them to be—getting frustrated with a partner or family member who doesn’t have time for a conversation? You can tell them, "I know you’re in the middle of something. Let's chat about what’s going on with you."

Video Bite

Ever tried wearing someone else's glasses? Blurry, right? Sol TV Creator Brandon McCullen advises us to stop expecting everyone to see our vision the same way we do.

Words of Wisdom

Along the Same Lines…

We love you,
Mona & The Sol TV Team ❤️

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