Most of us were raised in environments where we were told negative moods should be dealt with quickly.

For instance, when you felt sad, you were told to focus on the positives. If you were anxious, you were reassured that everything would turn out okay. Or when you felt angry, you might have been told to isolate yourself, like going to your room to calm down.

Although they might be well-meaning, these statements invalidate a person’s feelings and send a hazardous message: feeling bad equals being bad and requires immediate action, such as suppressing or ignoring the feeling.

While it is natural to want to stop discomfort, studies show that belief is flawed. Feeling pain isn’t inherently bad. For instance, if you touch a hot pan, the pain in your fingers prompts you to pull away. Although the sensation is unpleasant, it saves you from getting burned.

The same principle applies to emotional pain: Negative emotions such as sadness or fear may be unpleasant and even extremely distressing. But by assuming they are inherently “bad” or harmful simply because they are uncomfortable, you can fall into the trap of disregarding valuable messages the feelings might be sending you.

📝 TL/DR: The Sadness Cycle

Consistently ignoring or avoiding negative emotions will teach your mind to see them as dangerous. This means that whenever you feel a negative emotion like sadness, you will be both sad and feel like something is wrong. You may compensate by:

🌪️ Engaging in excessive worrying to stop being scared or regain a sense of power.

🥀 Dwelling on past errors to divert attention from feeling grief or loss.

🎲 Turning to alcohol, gambling, or overeating to evade feeling inadequate or uneasy.

The double layer of negative emotion is what causes sticky sadness. Feeling sad is already difficult enough. However, if you’ve been conditioned not to feel sad, you end up feeling ashamed, guilty, or even sadder.

And so the cycle continues…

​​To break a cycle of persistent sadness, you shouldn’t run away from it or try to fix it. Instead, you should deliberately confront it—and even embrace it.

The goal is to teach your mind that sadness may feel unpleasant but not inherently bad or dangerous. (Of course, you wouldn't willingly approach or welcome something that poses a genuine danger.) When you truly believe this notion, your brain no longer piles additional negative emotions onto the sadness, allowing the initial sadness to dissipate naturally.

🥀 Sol Bites: 5-Step Process to Embrace Sadness

The most effective way to feel less sad is to welcome it into your life.

🎬 Video Bite

Sometimes you just need a good cry. Give yourself permission to feel all the feelings - don't push the sadness down. Let it flow through you so it can leave your body. Click here to watch Sol TV Creator, Jenny Jay share her top 3 tips for getting yourself to have a cleansing cry:

1. Call a friend who will listen without judgement

2. Reflect on what's making you sad and sit with the emotions

3. Listen to a song that opens up your feelings

Crying is not a sign of weakness - it's a sign that your heart is working. Let it out, let it flow. You'll feel so much better afterward. 💕

🔮 Words of Wisdom

Along the Same Lines…

We love you,
Mona & The Sol TV Team ❤️