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Reframe Loneliness in This Way to Feel Better
Do you avoid confrontation at all costs? If so, you're not alone. The good news is that you can overcome your fear of confrontation.
Sol TV
May 25, 2023
This Newsletter at a Glance:
📈 The Loneliness Epidemic: A Closer Look
🔎 TL/DR: Reframing Loneliness - A New Perspective
🤏 Sol Bites: Three Strategies for Increasing Emotional Intimacy
📺 Video Bite: Overcoming Loneliness with Brandon McCullen
🧙♂️ Words of Wisdom
According to a recent report by the U.S. surgeon general, loneliness has become a national epidemic. We’re not talking about being lonely as an external state of affairs here—like solitude or isolation or what happens when you go to a party where you don’t know anyone.
The loneliness that is affecting so many of us is an emotion. It is a pain that stems from a perceived lack of intimacy with others or ourselves.
One thing that is so unique and complicated about it?
You can feel lonely even when you’re with other people.
🔍 TL/DR: Reframe Your Loneliness
An essential part of understanding loneliness is realizing it is a desire for intimacy, not connection.
Thanks to social media, Zoom meetings, and LinkedIn, there are many ways to connect with people. That’s not what we’re missing. Loneliness is not determined by how many followers we have online or the number of people we know offline but by the quality of our relationships.
Chronically lonely people often struggle to form meaningful connections. What makes them meaningful is the level of emotional intimacy created with the other person.
Being emotionally intimate means sharing your feelings with others openly, and feeling supported and understood in return. This type of intimacy can be complex for a lot of people. Fostering intimacy means opening yourself up and being emotionally vulnerable.
Rather than perceiving feelings of loneliness simply as a negative emotion, a sign of depression, or a character flaw, try to think of it as a helpful prompt—a reminder to seek emotional intimacy with others.
🤏 Sol Bites: 3 Ways to Become More Emotionally Intimate
Loneliness is a craving for emotional intimacy, which can only be achieved through emotional vulnerability. So how do you practice vulnerability?
🧠 When you’re talking to someone, describe your emotions in simple language.
Avoid intellectualizing your feelings, which will make them less relatable to someone else. Instead, consider how a 5-year-old would convey your emotion; this can help you find the right words to express your feelings accurately. For example, a child wouldn't say, "I’m overwhelmed." A child would say, “I’m mad at you.”
📝 Do some emotion-focused writing.
When you keep your feelings to yourself, expressing them to others can be a struggle. Write down your thoughts and emotions for a few minutes each day to build better communication skills. This can help you gain more confidence in articulating your feelings.
💪 Practice assertiveness.
Assertiveness is the ability to express your wants and needs respectfully. When you practice it regularly, you create confidence in communicating complex topics and emotions. Examples include speaking up about what you want to watch on TV or asking for a better table at a restaurant.
🎞️ Video Bite
Meet Brandon McCullen, a personal trainer, health coach, life coach, author and motivational speaker. Known for his smile, passion, and ability to connect, motivate and inspire anyone anywhere.
In this video, Brandon imparts a powerful message that can help you navigate away from the whirlwind of loneliness and feelings of disorientation. He guides you to foster a deeper relationship with yourself and to discern elements in your life that might be obstructing your path to progress.
💡 Words of wisdom
Intimacy is not something we do, it is something we learn, a process, a journey, not a doing but an unfolding
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We love you,
Mona & The Sol TV Team ❤️
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