We hear much about revenge these days, whether in national politics, world events, sports, or pop culture. It's everywhere—but is it reasonable? And is it a natural part of human behavior?

First, let’s define revenge. Revenge is an action that inflicts hurt or harm on someone for an injury or wrong they caused.

Psychology professor Michael McCullough has spent his career at the University of Miami studying revenge and forgiveness. His research shows that it is human nature to want revenge, and at the same time, we all have the capacity to forgive.

TL/DR: Why Does Revenge Feel So Good?

Research provides some insight into why revenge feels good, but it also offers conflicting reasons why seeking revenge can be so satisfying—even if it’s only in your imagination.

According to a study published in Science, when trust is betrayed, many people want revenge. This shows up as heightened activity in the dorsal striatum, the brain region associated with rewards. In essence, seeking revenge is about feeling pleasure rather than coping with pain.

Individuals who exhibit the highest level of brain activity in the dorsal striatum are even willing to endure personal costs to get the gratification that comes with revenge. Seeking revenge becomes a compulsion and is an opportunity to seek justice, even if both parties end up worse off.

Yet to effectively seek revenge, the possibility of retaliation must be low. It’s crucial to catch your target off guard, preventing them from fighting back. Research has shown that when there is a chance for revenge to backfire, individuals tend not to pursue it.

Of course, not everyone operates this way. “Sometimes people act revengeful when no good can come of their actions, other than to inflict suffering on others,” Karyn Hall, Ph.D., wrote in a Psychology Today article. “Those actions can go to unfathomable extremes. From lovers running over a beloved iPhone . . . to students opening fire in school hallways, revenge can be an act of anger, hurt, and power.”

Why do certain individuals resort to extreme measures to seek revenge even when they know their actions won’t improve their lives?

We live in an era of glorified revenge. Look at movies such as The Joker, Promising Young Woman, Horrible Bosses, any young adult dystopian movie, and The Avengers. But there is a fine line between on-screen avenging (more about justice) and taking revenge (retaliation) offscreen when real lives are at stake.

Journalist Bryan Robinson writes, “People who seek revenge are driven by anger and violence and have not thought about how [to] channel their negative feelings into something positive. They have not considered how to use their negative experience — the injustice they suffered — to bring about change.”

Interestingly, most people experience negative feelings after seeking revenge. The brain's reward centers stop signaling that payback feels good, and the consequences on the enemy become clear. Plus, revenge-seekers tend to excessively concentrate on stewing in their own pain instead of moving forward. Or as Hall put it in Psychology Today, “When people do get revenge, they can no longer trivialize the situation. Instead, they go over and over it and feel worse.”

Sol Bites: What's Better Than Revenge?

If you ever feel the urge to seek revenge, the trick is to harness the overwhelming surge of emotions and move forward positively instead. Here’s how to do it:

Video Bite

Betrayal wounds cut deep, but healing is possible. Recognize the feeling without minimizing it. Actually feel the hurt to gain insight into your thoughts behind it.

As Sol TV's Angelique MacArthur advises: Journal about it - what stories are you creating, and what's true and not true? Feelings can lie, so ensure the stories coming up are factual.

Words of Wisdom

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Mona & The Sol TV Team ❤️