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Secret to Better Conversations and Deeper Connections

Secret to Better Conversations and Deeper Connections

The one skill that makes everyone like you...🤫

Sol TV
March 07, 2024

This Newsletter at a Glance

🗝️ TL/DR: How to Get Better at Conversation

🎧 Want Better Conversations? Master These 4 Essential Skills

🌞 Sol Bites: 4 Surefire Habits to Better Listening

🎥 Video Bite: Stephanie Janis on Inner Conversation

💡 Words of Wisdom

Being a good conversationalist, like the person at a party who can chat with and charm anyone, is something many of us wish we could achieve. Many people think the key is having some sort of knowledge asymmetry—meaning you have information others don’t have and are willing to share it. But studies show that’s not a conversationalist’s best skill.

Their secret: It’s actually being a good listener. People love to talk about themselves, and when you let them, they love you for it.

Let’s look into how to converse better and become a pro.

TL/DR: How to Get Better at Conversation

Being a good conversationalist isn’t just essential for parties—you need it in all different parts of life. Whether you’re having difficult conversations with your partner or negotiating a business deal, mastering the art of listening will lead to better conversations and improved outcomes.

An awesome listener tunes out the distractions and ditches any bad habits that get in the way of really connecting with another person

Want Better Conversations? Master These 4 Essential Skills

Plus, discover how to build deeper connections and have conversations that leave you feeling understood and energized.

Sol Bites: 4 Surefire Habits to Better Listening

Work on developing these and see how much better you vibe with others. Here's how to be better with conversations:

Only give advice when asked for it!

When someone feels scared, angry, or down, the worst thing you can do is make them feel like they’re a problem that needs fixing—and giving unsolicited advice can send them that message. So, instead of jumping in with your two cents, wait for that magic phrase: "What do you think I should do?" That’s your cue to offer some help.

Ask open questions.

In today's world, asking quick questions and getting quick answers is valued. But when someone in your life is upset, the key to showing support isn’t just about getting them to open up to you or telling them how they'll bounce back. Filling a conversation with closed questions, such as Why are you upset? shows you only care about getting info. Instead, opt for open-ended questions, like What were you feeling when? or How did you feel about that? It’s less judgmental and shows you care about the other person.

Reflect back.

This is the simplest but the most effective part of being a great conversationalist. With reflective listening, you paraphrase what the other person has said, showing them you’re listening and understanding their vibe. When people feel truly listened to, magic happens, no matter how tough things may seem.

Validate feelings.

So many of us have spent our lives believing it’s wrong to feel down or angry, and we somehow have to suppress those emotions and get happy. That pressure leads to a build-up of anxiety and guilt. You’re not trying to solve anything when you validate another person’s emotional state. You’re simply being real and saying, “I get it, I see you.” As a result, you give them the freedom to feel their feelings without shame—and that’s a pretty awesome gift.

Video Bite

Being a skilled listener is not only vital in conversations with others, but also crucial to how we talk to ourselves. The words and affirmations you use after "I am..." hold immense power.

Sol TV Creator Stephanie Janis reminds us that the stories we tell ourselves shape our realities.