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Stop Sabotaging Yourself
Stop sabotaging your own success! Learn the underlying reasons behind self-sabotage and discover a 5-step plan to free yourself. From procrastination to stress eating, we've got you covered.
Sol TV
April 13, 2023
This Newsletter at a Glance:
🤔 What Is Self-sabotage?
💡 TL/DR: Why Do We Undermine Ourselves?
🔑 Sol Bite: 5-Step Plan to Free Yourself
🎥 Video Bite: Fana Gueye on Self Sabotage & Procrastination
🌠 Words of Wisdom
What Is Self-sabotage?
Self-sabotage is when you consciously or unconsciously undermine your values or goals. For example:
🍔 Stress eating when you’re trying to lose weight
📱 Procrastinating on assignments and important tasks by scrolling through social media or playing video games
👎 Doing sloppy work because you fear getting more responsibility and higher expectations
⏰ Showing up late to parties so you can avoid socializing 1:1 with people
💔 Damaging a good friendship because you’re afraid of getting hurt
⚡ TL/DR: Why do we do it?
There is only one reason we sabotage ourselves: because we learn that it “works” to solve an immediate problem or it protects us from feeling pain.
Have you ever…
📚 Crammed for a test last minute and still managed to pass?
🥃 Done shots before a work party to feel more at ease?
❗ Point out flaws in your partner so that you can feel superior?
These situations might pay off, but they also start a damaging cycle where you keep repeating unhealthy behaviors. At some point, you may discover that you’ve dug into a deep hole, and it's hard to get out of it.
Sol Bite 🤏 How to free yourself from self-sabotage
1️⃣ Understand the need it fills. Knowing why you self-sabotage is the key to eliminating the behavior from your life. You could use it to avoid risk, control a situation, or cope with anxiety. Identify and address the underlying need, and you can ditch the damaging habit.
2️⃣ Identify healthier alternative behaviors. For example, if you procrastinate to avoid risk, you could learn to manage the risk by breaking down tasks into smaller, more manageable steps.
3️⃣ Plan for roadblocks. Doing Steps 1 + 2 can help you anticipate potential problems and be prepared to address them. Say you’re feeling lonely and want to call a friend rather than reaching for a glass of wine—have a list of two or three friends you can call if one doesn’t answer.
4️⃣ Increase emotional tolerance for discomfort. Just because an emotion feels terrible doesn’t mean it is terrible, and reminding yourself of that can help reduce the urge to self-sabotage. If you’re trying to eat healthily, you might miss junk food or alcohol, but remember that feeling is temporary. Tolerance can be built using meditation, breathwork, hypnotherapy, and other relaxation techniques.
5️⃣ Clarify your values. This helps you focus on what is most important to you, which provides motivation and direction when facing difficult decisions. If you’re tempted to self-sabotage, stop and ask yourself, Why?
For example, Below is a clarified value. It has meaning and purpose
To stop self-sabotage, discover the need it fulfills and find healthier ways to meet it.
🎞️ Video Bite
Meet Fana Gueye, a personal mastery & mindset expert who coaches individuals to unleash their true potential. Whether you want to lose weight, increase your confidence, or simply want to be in charge of your life again, Fana will guide you on your journey by tapping into your own inner leader and empowering you to make changes in the present moment.
In this video, Fana presents her masterclass on dismantling the self-sabotage patterns that stand in the way of your success.
💡 Words of Wisdom
Self-sabotage is often an unconscious reaction to the fear of success or self-doubt, which can be hard to stop. The best way to break this cycle is to identify the underlying cause and work to challenge it.
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We love you,
Mona & The Sol TV Team ❤️
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