🦋 TL;DR: Own Your Values

🍎 Sol Bites: How To Stop Caring About What Others Think

⭐ Bonus: 3 Frameworks to Stop Gossip from Getting to You

🦉 Words of Wisdom

Accept That Caring Is Normal

First, caring about what others think of you isn’t a flaw. Research backs that up: Psychologists say our brains are wired for social connection, so it’s natural to care about how we’re perceived. The real problem comes from thinking it's “bad” to care, which can cause anxiety or shame. When you self-flagellate about being anxious about what others think, you only feel worse—it’s a double whammy of stress.

How to do it:

Next time you're stressed, try slowing down and telling yourself, "It's okay to care what other people think, and it's okay to feel worried occasionally." This soothing self-talk breaks the cycle of shame and enables you to feel in control. Click here for more insight on emotional validation from experts—it's game-changing.

Stop Overthinking

Worrying about something for a few minutes won’t destroy your day, but worrying about it for an hour will. Research by the American Psychological Association shows that worrying for extended periods amplifies fear enormously. The trick is to catch yourself when you find yourself stressing and changing gears.

How to do it: 

When you think of the issue that’s bothering you, say to yourself, "It's not a problem unless I decide it is." You may even want to jot it down on paper—studies on expressive writing indicate that committing it to paper can help you release it.

Figure Out What You Value

When your values are unclear, it's easy to lose yourself in what others say about who you should be or what you should do. According to a 2021 study published in the Journal of Personality, people who articulate their values feel more confident and less pressured by outside opinions.

How to do it:

The next time you're concerned with what someone else thinks, ask yourself, "What do I truly want now?" Consider what matters to you, such as creativity, family, or helping others. Knowing your "why" makes it simpler to brush aside opinions that aren't in line with what you want.

Boost Your Confidence

Believing in yourself enables you to care less about what others think—one of the best ways to do that is through assertiveness. Assertiveness is going after what you want, even if it feels uncomfortable. Research in the Journal of Behavioral Therapy reports that assertiveness training increases self-esteem and reduces social anxiety levels over time.

How to do it: 

Start small. For example, the next time you're out at a restaurant, ask for another table if you’re seated at one you don’t like. That’s low-risk assertive behavior, but with practice, saying "no" to a co-worker or speaking up when something irritates you will be second nature. The more you act on your wants, the less you'll care about random opinions.

You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.