You probably know whether you’re physically fit, but how emotionally fit are you? Emotional fitness is about controlling your mind rather than letting it control you—especially when facing a challenging situation or difficult emotions. For instance, you can't always stop a negative thought from creeping in, but you can choose not to dwell on it. And you may not have control over other people’s rudeness, but you can definitely control how you react to it.

Like hitting the gym, building emotional fitness takes consistent effort and dedication. Anyone can get better at it by practicing three key habits.

Bonus: 7 Strategies to Unlock Emotional Fitness

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Sol Bites: 3 Habits for Emotional Fitness

Here are three little tricks to help you flex your mental muscles and boost your emotional toughness:

1) Be real about your emotions. 

This habit is easy to overlook. You might say, "I'm totally honest about my feelings..." but you probably aren’t as upfront as you think—especially when you’re struggling. When you’re feeling mad, frustrated, regretful, ashamed, disappointed, or something similar, and someone asks how you’re doing, how many times have you lied and said, “I’m good”?

We often do this because we think of those negative emotions as scary, but the good news is you can train your brain to see them differently. All you need to do is be real about them with yourself and the people around you. This doesn’t mean you have to spill your feelings to everyone you meet. All you need to do instead is take a second to own your emotions instead of pushing them away, which can help you level up mentally and emotionally. When someone asks how you're doing, your response should be something like, “I'm alright, I had a stressful day yesterday,” or, “I had a rough conversation last night, and I'm still processing all of it.”

2) Don't get caught up in thinking about the past or the future. 

Yes, we can learn from our past mistakes, and imagining an amazing future can be exciting and motivating, but mental time travel isn’t always helpful. Here are some reasons why: 

Anxiety often stems from overthinking what might happen in the future. While paranoia about everything that could go wrong in a negotiation or a project launch may be useful in a work scenario, it can also stress you out and prevent you from adequately preparing for what really needs to be done. The key to lowering your anxiety is to be smart about when you let yourself anticipate issues that might arise in the future. A good rule of thumb is to focus on things you can control versus those you can’t.

Shame is a big contributor to feeling down and having low self-esteem. It stems from a habit of self-criticism. Reflecting on your past mistakes can be helpful sometimes, but letting it go too far will bring you down. The further you drag yourself down with shape, the harder it will be to get up and move forward.

It’s easy to become angry and resentful if you think too much about other people’s mistakes and flaws. Be wary of getting stuck in that negative mental loop.

The key to combating those types of overthinking is to stay focused on the present. Grounding yourself in the here and now is a muscle that must be trained. 

Your goal is to know when it is best to be present and when it is helpful to ruminate about the past and speculate about the future. Practice being present by spending 30 seconds or one minute focused on a current task or issue, building up the duration over time. 

3) Figure out what you want versus what you value. 

Being mentally strong means pushing past unhelpful urges that could derail you from a goal. It's like when you promise yourself you'll hit the gym five days a week, not letting Netflix or social media suck up all of your energy. Or when a coworker gets under your skin, find a more productive way to handle your outrage than clapping back. It's also about having a tough conversation with your partner, even when you're scared of how it'll go down. Our minds love to throw us off track with impulsive reactions and fears, but being mentally strong means fighting back and sticking to your values.

Instead of giving in to temporary urges, think about what experiences and opportunities you want and let those things drive you. When you align your actions with your values, you’ll be unstoppable. Just keep reminding yourself what you’re about, and you’ll find it easier to stay on track and live your best life.

Video Bite

Need a moment of calm? Sol TV Creator Ekta Hattangady shares the 'butterfly hug', a simple exercise for easing anxiety, stress, and overwhelm. It's a grounding technique to help you regulate your emotions and find peace in the present.

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Mona & The Sol TV Team ❤️