🎭 Quick quiz:

❓Do you struggle with…

🗣️ Expressing your views and opinions in front of others?

🚫 Saying no and setting boundaries?

💬 Asking for what you want?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, it might be a sign that you need to be more assertive.

 🌈 Assertiveness is the ability to express yourself firmly, respectfully, and positively.

🌪️ Anxiety, burnout, procrastination, low self-esteem, and many other issues can directly result from an inability to stand up for yourself and express your needs and values.

🦸 Being able to assert yourself is the most under-appreciated skill in emotional well-being. Unfortunately, developing assertiveness is often overlooked in favor of other emotional health skills, such as problem-solving and stress management.

⚡ TL/DR: Why is it so hard to be assertive?

Most people have difficulty acting assertively because of a straightforward thing: They’re afraid of what can happen afterward. Check out these three communication styles and how they could be (surprisingly) affecting your emotional health:

🚀 Sol Bite: How to be assertive

Being assertive is hard for many people, but these strategies can help.

Start small. Pick one small situation where you aim to be assertive, such as asking a friend or family member for help on a task or a project. Practice doing that until you feel more confident, then slowly add in work to increase challenging situations. 

	 
Stop apologizing. We often tell someone we’re sorry just because we’re uncomfortable with them being uncomfortable. But if you were the one who was wronged, don’t apologize solely as a way to “make things better” or less awkward. Stand up for your feelings and explain how you were hurt. 

	 
Set boundaries. If someone asks you for an unreasonable favor, simply say no. Understand that you will feel uncomfortable afterward and that the whole point is to build up your tolerance for feeling that discomfort. 

	 
Connect to your values. For example, if you value being present with your partner or kids at home, setting boundaries at work will help you accomplish that. In any situation, you may encounter resistance to your assertiveness—from other people or even yourself—but connecting your behavior with your values will strengthen your resolve. 

	 
Prepare in advance. Before a difficult conversation, take a few minutes to jot down what you would like to say.  

💡Heads up: After years of you just “going with the flow,” friends might be surprised when you start saying no to their picks for dinner plans (suggest alternatives that work for you) or tell your partner you want to handle the vacation plans.

People may imply or say you’re selfish by not following their wishes. Your attempts at being more direct and respectful may even be met with shock, doubts, or mistrust. But ultimately, communicating assertively—clearly and respectfully expressing your wishes and feelings—leads to the best long-term outcomes.

By mastering assertiveness, you can become less resentful of others and more relaxed about not disappointing people.

🎞️ Video Bite

Meet Katy Morin, the go-to expert for overcoming social anxiety, battling loneliness, and conquering the fear of communication. As a Sol TV Creator, she's on a mission to empower individuals to harness their social skills and confidently navigate social situations.

In this video, Katy shares her insights on cultivating the habit of assertiveness – an essential tool for transforming your social life.

💡 Words of wisdom

Along the Same Lines…

We love you,
Mona & The Sol TV Team ❤️