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When Stress Hits Hard, Look Deeper Than Quick Fixes

When Stress Hits Hard, Look Deeper Than Quick Fixes

Plus, discover 9 proven ways to conquer stress at its root.

Sol TV
September 12, 2024

🎭 The Illusion of Quick Fixes

🚫 TL/DR: Stress Management Doesn’t Work

🔍 Find Your Stressors

🍎 Sol Bites: 3 Ways to Assertively Manage Stress

🌿 9 Proven Ways to Conquer Stress at Its Root (Not Just Mask It)

📹 Video Bite: Kumi Jay on Stress

💬 Words of Wisdom

The Illusion of Quick Fixes

So many times when we aren't feeling well, we end up treating the symptoms rather than looking for the root cause of the problem. Take sleep issues or back problems, for example. You go to the doctor, get handed a prescription for pills, and think they'll solve everything. But they don't. They merely mask the symptoms temporarily, and could even lead to new issues.

We often do the same thing when we're dealing with stress.

TL/DR: Stress Management Doesn’t Work

A lot of folks are always stressed out because they actually use stress management as a way to avoid dealing with what's really causing their problems. We’re talking about doing things like giving yourself a pep talk, using mindfulness apps, spending a day at the spa, reading inspirational quotes, and having heart-to-heart chats with a friend. Of course, there’s nothing inherently bad about those things, but if they’re the only way you’re coping with stress, it might be time to re-think your behavior.

To be fair, it makes sense why people gravitate toward stress management techniques: Facing what is really stressing you out can be a lot harder than just managing the effects of the stress. Frazzled by work? Spending an hour with your therapist each week talking about your crazy job feels way easier than having an open and honest talk with your boss.

Many mental health, coaching, and self-help guides offer coping strategies and quick tricks to feel better. Sadly, this can make people more fragile because it makes them think they need fancier and more profound coping techniques to handle the never-ending wave of stress. Meanwhile, the root issues are still hanging around and often getting bigger.

If you're aiming to cut down on stress in your life, you need to get real with yourself about what is actually stressing you out and figure out what you need to do to address those issues.

Find Your Stressors

If you take an honest look at what's stressing you out, you'll probably discover that you’re dodging a couple of significant issues. You'll need to tackle those head-on or assertively if you want anything in your life to change.

If you’re chronically stressed because of an overwhelming workload, you might need to be assertive with your manager and candidly discuss your current capacity and the need for better workload distribution. You may also need to say no to additional projects until you have the necessary support to manage your existing responsibilities effectively.

Or, if a cluttered and disorganized living space chronically stresses you, you probably should be assertive about decluttering and establishing organizational systems. This could involve saying no to your roommate about buying unnecessary items or setting boundaries with family members to maintain a tidy environment. It also includes dedicating specific times for cleaning and decluttering activities.

If you get home from a tough day and are set off by another pile of dishes in the sink, a bubble bath or deep breathing exercises can certainly work as a quick fix to help you relax. But if you aim to stress less in the long run, you’ve got to tackle what's actually stressing you out. This usually means being better at asking for what you need and saying no to things you don’t.

Sol Bites: 3 Ways to Assertively Manage Stress

1) Boost your emotional endurance.

Acting assertively, e.g. asking for what you want, expressing your opinions, or setting boundaries can often feel pretty scary. But if you can't push through that fear, over time you’ll become weaker and less confident about standing your ground.

2) Don't get caught up in fake guilt.

The biggest hurdle to being assertive is usually guilt—or, more accurately, worrying that you'll feel guilty if someone gets upset or angry because you stood your ground. But here's the thing: That’s fake guilt. Real guilt is a result of knowingly doing something wrong. Remember, you're responsible for your actions, not how others feel. Fake guilt shouldn't hold you back from being assertive.

3) Figure out your values.

When being assertive feels awkward or scary, remember why you’re doing it. You might be setting boundaries at work to take care of your family, or you might need to open up with your partner because you value honesty and trust. When you understand the reason behind your assertiveness—your personal values—it makes it easier to push through the discomfort and stand up for yourself with more confidence.

9 Proven Ways to Conquer Stress at Its Root (Not Just Mask It)

Read this to ditch generic advice and finally conquer stress at its root!

Video Bite

Stress is a constant companion. But the more we understand it, the better we can handle it. Sol TV Creator Kumi Jay reminds us to dig deeper and that inner work starts with honest questions:

1)Why am I stressed?
2)What's triggering it?
3)What part of this can't I accept?