This Newsletter at a Glance:

🔍 Is Anger a Negative Emotion?

📝 TL/DR: 4 Ways Anger Makes Us Feel Good

🌤️ Sol Bites: 3 Ways to Stop Using Anger as a Crutch

🎬 Video Bite: Mathura Mahendren on Holding Space for Anger

🧠 Words of Wisdom

😇 Anger makes you feel morally superior. Being up in arms about someone or something implies you are better: That person is an idiot! (I’m pretty clever.) Her fashion sense is terrible! (I have loads of style.) People who vote for that person are morally bankrupt! (I have the correct moral compass.)

💪 Anger makes you feel in control. When you watch the news and feel scared and helpless, getting angry at a person or group gives you the illusion of control—like your emotions are making a difference. The entire news industry makes money by selling people anger and outrage.

😢 Anger makes you feel like a victim. Ruminating about how others have wronged you can create a compelling internal monologue you're a victim—and that the person who’s wronged you will eventually get justice.

🤕 Anger distracts you from more painful emotions. One big reason many people are perpetually angry is that this is how they’ve learned to avoid other painful emotions. This process can become addictive, and generating anger becomes a default response to painful feelings.

😡 Resentment is the result of unacknowledged or unaddressed anger. Resentment builds up when one person wants something from another, but neither knows how to ask for it or is afraid to speak up for themselves.

- The key to undoing resentment in a relationship is to be honest about what things you want more of and less of. Be bold enough to directly ask for what you want, and be willing to set and enforce boundaries for what you don’t want.

😒 Passive-aggressive communication results from us wanting to be aggressive toward someone without taking responsibility. It often shows up as a comment wrapped in a bow of sarcasm or humor. People usually do this when their needs are unmet, but they fear that saying so would be disrespectful.

- The key to overcoming passive aggressiveness is to be assertive. It requires you to be honest about what you want from your relationships and what bothers you.

🤯 Frustration comes from having a goal or desires thwarted. The feeling acts as an emotional messenger trying to communicate that something isn’t working well.

- With the right mental shifts and a little practice, we can train ourselves to see frustrations as opportunities for positive change.

Anger is an attempt to protect ourselves, but only by looking deeper into the source of the anger can we fully heal and learn to express ourselves authentically.